哄女朋友的方法有70种，一是买买买，二是69。哈哈哈哈！
01
时至今日，我觉得，哄女朋友，已经成为一项男人的必备技能。
如果一个男人不会哄女朋友，他的人生质量会受到非常恶劣的影响。
人类社会有很多分歧，但对于同一件事却达成了空前的一致，那就是女朋友开心，我就开心，生活就开心，整个世界就开心，进而整个人类文明会继续往前发展。
反之，世界毁灭只是早晚的事情。
我不知道你有没有发现，女朋友特别容易不开心。
你想过女朋友不开心的终极原因吗？
不是因为你在玩游戏没有秒回，也不是因为你没给她买最新款的包包，更不是因为你趁着她上厕所的时候，偷吃了她的鱼丸。
这些都只是表面原因。
在和女朋友长期交流的漫长一生中，男人们早就应该学会，透过现象看本质。
女朋友总是不开心的原因很简单，她觉得你不够爱她。
请注意，是“她觉得”。
女朋友的感受大于一切，即便你很爱她，但你没有让她感觉到，那对不起，在她看来，你就是不爱。
女朋友是感受型生物。
感受到什么就是什么。
掌握了这个心法，你就会更容易理解，为什么女朋友总是容易不开心，以及你怎么样做，女朋友就会开心。
万事万物，都是有规律可循的。
今天，我决定把我的生平所学，简化成简单的三招。
如果掌握了这三招，基本上可以随时哄女朋友开心，尤其是在她不开心的时候。
02
第一招，“我错没错都不重要，重要的是你不开心了。”
态度。注意你的态度。在和女朋友相处的过程中，“就事论事”是个伪命题，女朋友才不会跟你就事论事。生活不是辩论场。你说得女朋友哑口无言对你一点好处都没有。
女朋友不在乎事情的对错，她只在乎你的态度。
所以，请收起你的观点，你的坚持，你打算纠正女朋友的任何努力，只需要做一件事：认错。
别纠结于“我没错啊”，你错没错一点都不重要，一声认错，换得整夜和平，何乐而不为呢？
再说了，男人原本就不该跟女朋友计较。
请认真学习以下对话：
女：你知道你哪儿错了么？
男：（拍案而起，大声疾呼）亲爱的你什么意思？！难道我没有错你就不能骂我训我了吗？你这个态度让我很不高兴。我希望你收回你的问题！
女：……
03
第二招，“情话爆击”与“示爱红心三连杀”。
是的。女朋友是听觉动物。你以为你只用行动证明我爱你就够了吗？
对不起，不够。
知道吗？很长一段时间以来，一个调查都认为意大利男人最优雅，中国男人的情人指数排名靠后。
原因之一是，东方男性不擅长表达自己的情感，包括行动和语言上。
爱要说，爱要做，爱要边说边做。
男人应当掌握“情话爆击”的技能，在女朋友生气的时候，情话技能可以把一场争端消弭于无形之中。
请把以下句子滚瓜烂熟于胸中。
好看，真好看，你穿与不穿都好看。
在我眼中，只有两种女人，一种是你，一种别的女人。
你上司是混蛋，欺负你的女人都是bitch。
什么壁咚，马咚，车咚，要统统掌握。
所有的“咚”都是宠爱的霸道表现，请注意配合深情脉脉地眼神，以及随时随地可以砸下去的吻，对女朋友最好的教育就是劈头盖脸的吻，砸晕她。
摸头杀。
你仔细分析摸头这个动作，这个动作里面包含了以下意思：
男人对女朋友父亲般的宠溺，几乎可以容忍她的一切，几乎可以给她你的一切。
男人觉得女朋友自己一个人，在这个世界上是无法生存的，除非有男人在她身边保护她。
03
第三招，给她钱花。
别误解。
给她钱花，这件事的重点是“给”，而不是给多少。
“给”这个动作大于一切。
给多少，依据的是你现在的收入状况。
一个正经女孩，给她钱的，只有两种人：家人和爱人。
给她钱，是一种对她示爱。
她要你的钱，是给你一种承认。
请注意，要坚决杜绝以下言论：
“我们AA吧。”
“女孩一定要自立。”
“你的手机谁给你买的？”
“你的项链谁给你买的？”
“你怎么这么能花钱？”
“你衣柜里不是有衣服吗？”
“这些化妆品其实根本没用，骗人的。”
“你很败家。”
请多使用以下言论：
“买买买。”
“这条裙子好看，和你家里那条花纹不一样。”
“这件衣服好看，和你家里那件款式不一样。“
“刷我的卡。”
“没事，我挣的钱就是给你花的。”
“不，你不是败家，你把自己打扮的好看是为了谁？为了我！”
“你不买这双鞋子，鞋子会难过的。”
放心，其实女朋友们心里有杆秤，她会根据你的经济状况体谅你的。往往这个时候，她反而决定不买了。
当然，这三招只是“哄女朋友”这门学问里最基础的部分。
毕竟，这门学问博大精深。
但是没关系，人生漫长，我们慢慢来玩。
正所谓“与女朋友斗，其乐无穷。”
当然，前提是，你有一个女朋友。
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